Dearest Sarah,
This is a very new
experience for you, isn’t it? Having
time without a schedule. Not being in
charge of anything. Being out of touch
with people and action. It can feel
scary because it is so new, and it is unlike anything you’ve ever
experienced. Your short time in 1979 of
being unemployed doesn’t even compare because you were a young mother and you
had responsibilities there. Remember
that even that period of time didn’t settle well for you, because again you
were looking for your thing…your “car to drive”. Now, you really do not have any major
responsibilities, and you are truly living a day at a time. Can you stand it?
This is perhaps the
most important time of your life…do you realize that? This is a huge experiment in Living, Sarah…in
being present in the moment…in seeing and feeling at a level that is
new…without distraction, without intrusions…Now, of course, you create your own
distractions and intrusions with your thoughts of “is this enough?” “is this right?”
“is this going to satisfy me?” “how long is this okay?” “how long is it okay to just be?” “aren’t I getting lazy and fat?!”
Rob has given you a
wonderful gift…don’t miss it! The gift
of Time…the gift of No Schedule…the gift of taking it moment by moment. Perhaps whatever you ultimately decide to do,
(now isn’t that an interesting thought?
As if this is not ultimately enough) you will come toward it with a very
different orientation to life and you will relax into life and “work” in a way
that will bless you and others…in a way that you never could have
otherwise. What you loved at the NCCIL
and what you think you miss is the illusion of “control” the illusion that life
is going according to My Plan….I am driving this van to glory!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Now is your
opportunity to remove yourself from the driver’s seat, to get in the backseat
and for the first time ever, just enjoy the ride. Remember in your dream when the car was going
just fine, but you thought you needed to “man” it? See what it feels like to just stay in the
backseat. It may be the ride of your
life.
You are embarking on
the adventure of your life, Sarah, so just lean back, look out the windows and
see the incredible beauty of this world, and know that it doesn’t really matter
where you end up…the ride is all there is.
I love you,
Sarah
Thanking Him for preparing you for this journey in so many ways.
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