Suffering & Glory

Five more readings remain.

I checked to see because I was thinking, just how much harder 

and more hopeful can it possibly get?

I recall from my past readings of The Way to Love that DeMello begins 

rather simply and gently with his scriptural interpretations, 

much like elementary school perhaps.

By the time we get to these last few chapters, we have moved into territory 

that is beyond challenging and yet almost beyond belief 

in its apparent potential for goodness and grace.

It is as if while we were immersed in our Masters level work, we slid almost

imperceptibly into our Doctoral studies, and now we're too far in it to turn back.

This is not for the weak of heart, 

and yet, 

it is ultimately so very simple that 

even babies get it! 

Here we go...

"Was it not necessary that the Christ 

should suffer these things and 

enter into his glory?"

Luke 24:26

Happy events make life delightful but they do not lead 

to self-discovery and growth and freedom. 

But they feel so good...so delightful!

And they allow me to pretend that what is going on is actually 

making me happy; it certainly feels that way.

Much of the delightful things I record on this blogsite are just that.

That privilege is reserved to the things and persons 

and situations that cause us pain.

I was afraid of that.

Now think of some recent event that caused you pain, 

that produced negative feelings in you. 

I can think of several...

Whoever or whatever caused those feelings was your teacher, 

because they revealed so much to you about yourself 

that you probably did not know. 

These "undelightful" interactions allowed for my reactions and responses,

most of which I initially didn't even consider anything other than right

and appropriate, given the pain I experienced.

And they offered you an invitation and a challenge to self-understanding, 

self-discovery, and therefore to growth and life and freedom.

Oh, okay...let's see.

Try it out now, identify the negative feeling 

that this event aroused in you. 

a sense of being unjustly attacked/anger

Was it anxiety or insecurity, jealousy or anger or guilt? 

What does that emotion say to you about yourself,

I don't like to be wrong.

your values, 

I value peace and cooperation above confrontation. 

your way of perceiving the world and life

We should all get along. And people should always assume I always mean well.

and above all your programming and conditions?

I am programmed and conditioned to hear confrontation as negative 

and as an indication that I have done something wrong; 

I do not like for anyone to think that I could or would do anything wrong.

UGH! Did I just say that?!

...you realize that it was caused by your programming 

what I just said

and not by reality; 

All of that up there is what was in my head...the story I added to the comments made.

My interpretation, my story is what caused the pain I felt.

Someone else might have heard the very same thing and responded 
in a totally different manner, based on totally different feelings, 
based on totally different programming and conditioning.
The pain comes first...and it is real.
I cried.
I can, however, work myself out of continued suffering by
remembering that the pain is the result of
my programming and conditioning.
That is good news!
Although it won't feel like it at first; it takes time.

and you will suddenly find that you are full of gratitude for those 

negative feelings and to that person or event that caused them.

I certainly wasn't in the moment...no way!

Later, however, it became more and more apparent that the "confrontation", and the words 
each person used, came from their own particular programming and conditioning, 

 and were the result of their own anxiety, insecurity, anger, or guilt.

We bring our own stuff to every encounter.

Gratitude comes in remembering this just a little bit more, 
thanks to the painful encounter, and choosing not to suffer unnecessarily 
by finding mercy for everyone involved.

Now take this one step  further. 

Look at everything that you think and feel 

and say and do that you do not like in yourself. 

Your negative emotions,
opportunity 

your defects,
opportunity 

your handicaps,
opportunity 

your errors,
opportunity 

your attachments
opportunity 

and neuroses
opportunity 

and hang-ups 
opportunity
and yes, 

even your sins. 

opportunity

Can you see every one of them as a necessary part of your development, 

holding out a promise of growth and grace for you and others, 

that would never have been there except for this thing that you so disliked? 

It's like a giant mirror I am allowed to view, a reflection of my programming. 
And I too am offering others this awareness, simply by being imperfect me, and letting them

learn as I have that it's not really me that affects them either; 
it's their programming and conditioning about how I should be that is the bother. Hmmm... 

And if you have caused pain and negative feelings to others, 

were you not at that moment a teacher to them, 

an instrument that offered them a seed 

for self-discovery and growth?

How often do they/we take it as this? 

Don't we usually just react, feel justified, cement our justification by gaining allies, 

and therefore bury any chance of waking up to the fact that 

we are not at the mercy of each other?

Rather, we are here to grant mercy and give others and ourselves 

the benefit of the doubt while we are learning to be free!
This is a very tall order offering a huge GIFT.
Freedom from ourselves and others.

"I have come that you might have life 
and that you might have it more abundantly."

Salvation indeed!