Affirmation

HOW TO CARE FOR A LOVED ONE
(WITHOUT LOSING YOURSELF)

When you're sitting with
a loved one who's suffering,
don't pretend to be invulnerable.
Don't pretend to be strong.
Let your heart break a little or a lot.

Bow to your fragility, your lack of answers.
Feel your sorrow, your fear, your frustrations.
And your guilt. You're not a superhuman.
It's hard to see someone you love in pain.
However 'evolved' you are, it's hard.

Now: Watch where your attention goes.
Does it fly out of your body?
Are you holding your breath?
Are you ignoring and neglecting yourself
in your wish to 'help' or even 'save' the other?
Are you abandoning your precious body
in your longing to take away their pain?

The universe doesn't need two suffering.
One is more than enough.

Offer your presence now.
Your wide open heart.
Your listening.
Cry with them.
Validate where they are.
But remember, it's not your job to save them,
fix them, heal them,
take away their pain.
It's up to God. It's up to the Universe.

You don't know what's best for them.
You might give the wrong answers.
They are on their own journey.
Their journey is not yours.
(This doesn't mean you're selfish.)

It's your job to be their friend now,
not their saviour.
Be a reflection of their own presence,
their courage, their ability to withstand
even the most intense energies.

In order to care for another
you have to care deeply for yourself,
you have to care abundantly for yourself,
so that care spills over,
so that care flows to your friend,
even if they aren't aware of it.

Don't abandon yourself
in the name of 'compassion'.
Walk your path now, not theirs.
Do less, then. Radiate more.