Easier said than done...

I shared the Christena Cleveland meditation with the grandboys

the other day when there appeared to be a

"teachable moment".

I told them that there seemed to be so much meanness in the world,

and that we get to choose how we want to be

in the middle of it.

So, when we are feeling mean

or feeling like someone is being mean to us,

we can breathe in

L-O-V-E,

and we can breathe out

J-O-Y.

We practiced a few times and then went on to our next things.

Yesterday afternoon, as I was taking the boys home

(after a particularly challenging day

with boys who are at such different ages and stages

and with such different personalities...and with the heat...

and with the fact that they're recovering from

beach time exhaustion...

and with the fact that I'm rather weary myself)

from the backseat came this handy reminder from Sawyer:

"You know, Emmy, when Caleb and I are fussing and when

you get upset about it, you could breathe in

L-O-V-E

and breathe out

J-O-Y."

Oh, yeah, there's that...

GOD Is the Wholeness that Holds Us

Last week we explored Jesus' familiar exhortation, most often translated as "be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect." A much better translation might be "be merciful." Only God is perfect. But we can participate in God's perfect mercy, God's all-inclusive and impartial love. As St. Bonaventure said, "Christ is the one whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere." [1] This is the Wholeness that holds you. You can't figure this Wholeness out rationally, nor can you control it. All you can do is fall into this Wholeness that holds you when you stop excluding, even the dark parts of yourself. R. Rohr

This is illustrated in the following story shared by clinical psychologist and Buddhist Tara Brach. One of her clients, a woman called Marian, was devastated when she found out her daughter had been sexually abused as a child by her then-husband. Marian blamed herself for not protecting the little girl. Brach writes:

 

Fearing she might harm herself, Marian sought counsel from an elderly Jesuit priest who had been one of her teachers in college. Crying, she collapsed in the overstuffed chair he offered. "Please, please help me," she pleaded. He listened to her story and sat quietly with her as she wept. When she calmed down, he gently took one of her hands and began drawing a circle in the center of her palm. "This," he said, "is where you are living. It is painful--a place of kicking and screaming and deep, deep hurt. This place cannot be avoided, let it be."

 

Then he covered her whole hand with his. "But if you can," he went on, "try also to remember this. There is a greatness, a wholeness that is the kingdom of God, and in this merciful space, your immediate life can unfold. This pain," and he again touched the center of her palm, "is held always in God's love. As you know both the pain and the love, your wounds will heal." [italics mine]

 

Marian felt as if a great wave of compassion was pouring through the hands of the priest and gently bathing her, inviting her to surrender into its caring embrace. As she gave her desperation to it, she knew she was giving herself to the mercy of God. The more she let go, the more she felt held. Yes, she had been blind, and ignorant, she had caused irreparable damage, but she wasn't worthless, she wasn't evil. Being held in the infinite compassion of God, she could find her way to her own heart.

 

Feeling compassion for ourselves in no way releases us from responsibility for our actions. Rather, it releases us from the self-hatred that prevents us from responding to our life with clarity and balance. The priest was not advising Marian to ignore the pain or to deny that she had failed her daughter, but to open her heart to the love that could begin the healing. [2]

 

The only real perfection of which humans are capable is to include, absorb, forgive, and transform human imperfection. Humans are conduits and transformers much more than self-sufficient generators. Such is the character of a whole (and holy) human being.

Gateway to Silence When I am weak I am strong.

Balancing Act

We should not be surprised or scandalized
by the sinful and the tragic.

Do what you can to be peace and to do justice,

but never expect or demand perfection on this earth.

It usually leads to a false moral outrage,

a negative identity,

intolerance,

paranoia,

and self-serving crusades against

"the contaminating element,"

instead of "becoming a new creation"

ourselves

(Galatians 6:15).

~R. Rohr

Remembering

Poster Kids

More fun...

 Shopping...

 Eating...

Swimming...

 Cute pink-haired sisters...

Unless we become as children...

Today's Daily Lesson comes from Matthew chapter 27 verses 39 through 43:

39 And those who passed by derided him, wagging their heads 40 and saying, “You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself! If you are the Son of God, come down from the cross.” 41 So also the chief priests, with the scribes and elders, mocked him, saying, 42 “He saved others; he cannot save himself. He is the King of Israel; let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. 43 He trusts in God; let God deliver him now, if he desires him. For he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” 44 And the robbers who were crucified with him also reviled him in the same way.

This week at camp our Bible memorization was Hebrews 12:1b-2:

"Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

It's interesting to talk to kids about scorn and shame and ridicule because they are so present to it in so many ways. Whereas we adults, having learned to keep our heads down and avoid standing out, have become masters at avoiding shame and ridicule, children on the other hand are still exposed. The kids I was with last week are still being mocked and terrorized by playground bullies and "mean girls".  Because of that a week at camp involves talking about the cross on an entirely deeper and more challenging level than most of us adults ever experience.  These children, seeking to hold onto themselves, their dignity, and the dignity of Christ's way, challenge and inspire me.
The last night of camp we sang a song called "The Summons", a line in which says:

"Will you risk the hostile stare
Should your life attract or scare?"
The children I was with are risking hostile stares in their schools.  They're risking hostile stares to love science, to dance, to befriend the disabled child in the class, to embrace having two moms, to read their Bible at lunch.  They're risking hostile stares in order to live the lives to which Christ is summoning them.

We must become like them.

~Ryon Price, 2nd Thoughts

PERMISSION TO BE... AVERAGE

It's okay to be average!

To do your best and know that it's good enough.

To fail.

To try and fall flat on your face.

To be imperfect.

To be adequate, unspecial, and not the greatest.

In all cases, you are loveable, and miraculous as you are.

Your human limitations and imperfections are beautiful

and perfect in the eyes of the Universe.

Take the pressure off yourself to be the biggest and the best,

the most successful and the most loved,

and bless yourself for being

exactly what you are.

Realize that this radical self-love

has nothing to do with 'giving up' or 'settling for less';

it's actually the basis of a joyful, liberated and abundant life.

Be average, and dance into the miracle.

~Jeff Foster

 

Weekend Goodness

 JUST MERCY Talking Circle

 Laurel comes to visit...

2nd B

Is it right?

"Cowardice asks the question, is it safe?
Expediency asks the question, is it politic?
Vanity asks the question, is it popular?
But, conscience asks the question, is it right?"

Martin Luther King, Jr. 

Loving Kindness Meditation

If we understand Jesus' command to "be merciful" rather than to "be perfect," we must find some way to regularly practice and participate in the mutual exchange of mercy, which is already at work regardless of our efforts. In contemplative prayer we recognize our need of mercy and stand under the gracious flow of God's forgiveness and compassion. As we move into the world, we find ways of extending that mercy to ourselves and others in practical ways.   Buddhists have a beautiful meditation to grow and nurture loving kindness, maitri. The quality is already within you, but if you don't choose daily and deliberately to practice loving kindness, it is unlikely that a year from now you will be any more loving.   Begin by finding the place of loving kindness inside your heart (Christians might call this the indwelling Spirit).   Drawing upon this source of love, bring to mind someone you deeply care about, and send loving kindness toward them.   Now direct this love toward a casual friend or colleague, someone just beyond your inner circle.   Continue drawing from your inner source of loving kindness and let it flow toward someone about whom you feel neutral or indifferent, a stranger.   Remember someone who has hurt you or someone you struggle to like. Bless them. Send them your love. Gather all these people and yourself into the stream of love and hold them here for a few moments.   Finally, let the flow of loving kindness widen to encompass all beings in the universe.   This practice can help you know--in your mind, heart, and body--that love is not determined by the worthiness of the object. Love is determined by the giver of the love. You are simply a conduit for the inflow and outflow of love.

Gateway to Silence "Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts."  --Zechariah 4:6

Enough...

“Today…small things with great love.”  

Mother Teresa

Sweet!

Wednesday with Emmy

"The Shadow Knows"

There are many ways to do shadow work--the work of seeing and integrating your hidden and denied self. For example, your subconscious appears in images and stories as you sleep; paying attention to your dreams can give you insight into shadow. One of the easiest ways to discover your shadow is to observe your negative reactions to others and what pushes your buttons. Most often, what annoys you in someone else is a trait in yourself that you haven't acknowledged.   Byron Katie has a simple process to help you own your judgments and turn your focus to the plank in your own eye. The following is adapted from Katie's Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet and Four Questions.   Recall a stressful situation that is still fresh in your mind. Return to that time and place in your imagination.   Name your frustration, fear, or disappointment, and the object of this feeling in a simple statement. For example: I am angry with John because he never listens to me.   Now ask yourself four questions with an open heart, waiting for your truest answer to arise: Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.) Can you absolutely know that it's true? How do you react, and what happens when you believe this thought? Who would you be without the thought? Turn the thought around in three ways: putting yourself in the other's place, putting the other person in your place, and stating the exact opposite. I am angry with myself because I never listen to me. John is angry with me because I never listen to him. John does listen to me. Find ways in which each "turnaround" is true in this situation. This practice brings your nebulous shadow into focus, giving you something tangible to embrace. Do this necessary work all your life and you'll discover more and more freedom and greater capacity to love self and others.

Gateway to Silence Help me see as You see.

My boys belong!

The pool RULES!